In a sensational development, a razor blade today confessed to have inflicted far more cuts and nicks on a human being during shaving than those inflicted by a vampire during full moon. Mark Sharp, the blade who has been residing at Versova in house of a filmmaker, made this dramatic confession when the house owner was shaving to get ready for a late night party. “From a cut on the chins to a chip near the lips, I’ve explored all possible areas from where I could get the hemoglobin and protein rich drink. There have been many occasions where I have sliced the skin and had my thirst quenched without even anyone knowing about it,” Sharp disclosed the shocking truth in his confession. “Red drink gives me teeth,” the blade further revealed how every cut inflicted by it only made it more resolute for the next cut. The filmmaker, who is clean shaven despite the fact that grown up beard and long hair are taken as signs of creativity, confirmed that he witnessed the confession and recorded it on camera: “To be frank, it was horrific! But come to think of it, we never realized this horror when we got all those shaving cuts!” he said. “I mean, it’s as good as living with a vampire. In fact, it’s worse because Vampires only appear at night but these shaving blades can suck your blood at any time of the day. And we are hardly concerned about it!” he added. “But now I’m confused. Should I grow beard?” the victim of the metal vampire wondered. Similar fears were expressed by many other men who watched the video. “We used to call them ‘Safety Razor’ and thought it was a cutting edge technology that saved us from wounds, but now we understand what was ‘cutting’ about the technology,” a 23-year-old man said, “Now we have to look for a better technology. Something that wouldn’t be as painful as a vampire biting into your skin.” A group of concerned men who were determined to find out solution to the menace of this ‘metal vampire’ got together to find out if there was indeed someone who could save them before the last drop of blood was leeched out of them. Some suggested using feminine products like a hair removing cream. But it was quickly shot down by others as it would look less masculine. “A guy using women’s products may not get a cut on his skin, but would definitely not make a cut with women,” one of the concerned men opined. Finally the group reached a consensus that it would be prudent to hire the services of a professional vampire slayer rather than shooting in the dark and have the ‘metal vampire’ feast on you in the mean time. To the rescue of such concerned men and others who are yet to face this menace of ‘metal vampire’, some professional vampire slayers say that there is a new technology, which is cutting edge but leaves no cuts on any edges of the face: Aquatouch.
