Govt to distribute Philips Aquatouch to barbers to modernize them and thereby the society

In a major decision taken by the government of India today, it was decided that it will distribute Philips Aquatouch electric shavers among barbers across the length and breadth of the country.

Although it might appear like a freebie aimed at attracting a vote bank, the government claims that the move is aimed at modernizing barbers, and thereby modernizing the society at large.

The decision was taken after news of a traditional Haryanvi barber becoming modern in his outlook after using Philips Aquatouch was widely reported:

A government source said that the move was in tune with the governments push to modernize the country. “The days of using conventional razor blades are gone. Apart from cuts and razor rash that you get, they are also time consuming and in a country like India we need to manage our scarce resource efficiently,” said the source.

Starting today government will set up various centers across the nation where barbers can come and collect the electric shavers.

“We are not just providing them tool but we are also giving them training barbers on how to operate electric shavers. We are starting with training and development, but very soon we are planning to provide subsidies to those barbers who adopt this technology,” a government officer disclosed.

When asked why start with modernizing barbers, a government representative said, “Barber shops are the best place to start anything if you want the fad to spread. It is similar to Twitter for most people, where you have a lot of social interaction. In fact, it is better than Twitter, as there is no trolling. When barbers speak, people have no option but to listen to them carefully.”

“So anything that we start at barber shops will automatically spread in society at large,” he added.

The representative claimed that India as country has remained socially backward due to orthodox thinking and it was very important that change agents adopt modern tools.

“Besides, we don’t want our countrymen to have cuts and bruises on their faces,” he further disclosed. “They are already having many problems, so we thought why not take away one of those problems and make it easy for them.”

Billoo Baber, who was one of the first few to implement this electric razor at his barber shop said, “I have been using razors for quite some time now and to tell you honestly even after so many years of shaving beards of my customers I still cant say that I am skilled enough. There is always the fear of a cut here and there. It not only makes our customers unhappy but also affects our business. With this news electric razor I can confidently give my customers a good shave single handedly and use my other hand to SMS my girlfriend. Now she doesn’t complain that I don’t respond to her messages. Girlfriend is happy and my customers are also happy.”

Similar sentiments were echoed by many barbers, some of whom have decided to turn this into a nationwide campaign.

“Achchhi shave hone wali hai, Modern din aane wale hain,” said a barber promising “shaving cuts mukt Bhaarat” if he gets a free Philips Aquatouch.